A world where children die

February 18, 2015

Where to start on this one...

This week, a team from Generations church from North Carolina has been serving in our home, at HP, and in the rural villages.  First off, this team was fantastic and truly wanted to serve Christ.  In our home, great love and care was shown to each child, even those who are easily overlooked.  What a joy it was to see loving hands holding Ruauvis and Angelita even though they are not able to give much acknowledgement of being held. 

This got me thinking; what exactly is it that we have to offer to God?  We sing songs about giving Him our all, but what is it exactly that He is getting out of 'our all'?  Nothing.  Nothing at all.  There is nothing that I am that God needs.  Not one skill, not one ability.  So why is it that He has brought me here?  "Who am I O sovereign Lord, and what is my family that you have brought me this far?" 2 Sam 7:18  What does He possibly want me to do that someone else could not do?  Again, nothing.  But that's just it, I am not here, we are not at this place in our walk with Christ because of anything we can do, but solely because of the grace of God who saw fit to bless our eyes with the wonders of His work. 

And so I think yet again, how blessed am I beyond belief that He saw fit to pull me out of ashes and allow me to see the fruits of His labor. 

 The team also spent an afternoon and helped with a childrens program in our village called Paso a Paso, Step by Step.  There are around 50 children who come here for help with homework, a fun place to play, and loving support from teachers whose love for them shines vibrantly.  The children learn bible stories, and sing songs which they sang for their guests.  The team ran and played with the kids, and set up fun games, crafts, and balloon animals and lots of laughter was shared. 

In the group home, bottles were fed, diapers changed, and hundreds of black beans were sorted.  These seem like simple things, but usually it's the simplest things that make the biggest impact.  For example, it can take hours to sort out all the tiny rocks from the bags of black beans, but after a large group set to work, 8 gallon sized of beans were sorted in around an hour.  That's roughly 24 meals for this many mouths. 

Sometimes serving God can look a lot like sorting beans and changing diapers. 

February 19, 2015

Today we traveled to a village called Sipacate, which is by the Pacific Ocean.  Since it is at sea level, it is very hot here; 95 degrees while we visited.  Also, being this close to the salt of the ocean, wheelchairs and other equipment quickly rust and degrade.  We tightened the breaks of a wheelchair, which is no small feat through the rust and corrosion.  Following this visit, we visited and encouraged several families bringing food baskets to some, and formula or medication to others. 

My Spanish is still very poor so it can seem hard at times to show the support I want to show to these families who struggle daily to care for family members with sometimes extreme disabilities.  Many neighbors and even family members are unable to see the gift of this child sitting right in front of them.  Parents can see it, but cannot share it with those who are blind to God's gift seated before them. 

At one house, while phone calls were being made (in Spanish) to resolve an issue, I had the extended opportunity to play with a child who is very contracted from CP.  She smiles and laughs and pleases God with her joy.  And people say she is broken.  I believe that she knows more of God's unconditional love than anyone who can walk or talk or think they know anything.  I played peek a boo through her hammock, and each time I peered over the fabric at her, I think I was more excited to see the joy in her face than she was to see mine.  What a gorgeous child!  Oh what a sad thing to only know one word for beautiful in Spanish because  wanted nothing more than to share with her mother what an incredibly beautiful child she was.  So I find myself mumbling over and over "es muy bonita", which is about all I can manage.  But somehow God got this concept through my broken Spanish, and before we left, this loving mother and I shared a hug and some words I know were only understood by one or the other of us.  God uses our weaknesses.  I am unable to communicate with words.  He communicates for me beyond words. 

At another house, the child we wanted to visit was at school, so we visited briefly with her mother, and young sister.  Again, I am struck by the methods God uses.  Praise God for hide and seek around corners and finger painting in the dirt.  I have never grown up with a lot of experience with children, but I cannot now understand how you could not love such a beautiful creation of a child. 

We visited with families whose children are sick.  I kinda hate seeing children hurting when they cannot fully understand why.  When children with compromised immune systems become sick, it can become very dangerous. 

Dorcas also has CP, and is well cared for by a very loving family.  Because she cannot walk, she spends a lot of time in bed or her wheelchair.  Many children with CP have very limited movement and are at an increased risk for obtaining pressure ulcers.  Dorcas has a small open sore on her bottom.  Even a small area like this is at a risk for infection, and because the damage under the skin is larger than the sore on the surface of her skin, a pressure sore can get worse very quickly.  We explained to her family about bed sores, specifically that even though only a small area is open, that there is a lot of damage beneath her skin that cannot be seen.  We explained how to properly care for her sore, and how to prevent them in the future. 

Please pray for Dorcas, that her sore begins to heal, and for her family who loves her greatly. 

Maria Jose is about six years old, and has CP.  When we visited her, she had been struggling with a throat infection, cough, and fever for a few days.  Her family was already taking care of her sickness (she has apparently struggled with this for years) and were treating her with an antibiotic and fever reducer, so we encouraged them take her to a doctor if she did not improve. 

(Since first writing this, Maria Jose has gone to walk with the Lord.  I'll share more about this later in this post.)

Leslie's family was preparing to take her to the doctor when we arrived because her skin was pale, and her eyes jaundiced.  She has had hepatitis and a few acute flare ups.  A quick assessment and questions later definitely pointed toward the beginning of another flare up.  We encouraged them that she did in fact need to see the doctor, and that they were doing the right thing in taking her that day.  Several members in Leslie's family are suffering from a local illness called chikungunya.  Chikungunya is transmitted by mosquito and presents with flu-like symptoms and joint pain. 

Please be praying for Leslie, and her family. 

This trip also had a few new experiences for me.  I have never seen the ocean before, so before we returned home, we stopped by the beach for a little while.  The black sands were beautiful in contrast to the ocean.  I was not expecting the smell of the salt water misting over us.  The ocean is incredible because if you look to the horizon, you can just see the curvature of the horizon.  I had also never eaten fish (discounting fish sticks) because darke county is pretty far from any large body of water.  I like fish, and I think it likes me since it was smiling and staring at me the whole meal!  Also, the farther we got from mountains, the land flattened out and my eyes were once again blessed to see the beauty of endless rolling fields like those in Ohio (except not currently covered in snow).  I love the mountains, but it was very refreshing to see familiar fields stretching as far as the eye could see, and so much sky. 

March 4, 2015

I have not written in a little while.  Life here has been busy, but also, my mind can be a little slow to fully process some things.  As I write some of these thoughts, I need to mention that this is not where some thought provoking statement about pain and death is made and you walk away feeling inspired.  Honestly I don't want to talk about this, I just want to go on about Christian laughing so hard he snorts when you tickle his neck. Or Alejandra standing at her standing bar for a 90 seconds today.   Or even just being tired and overwhelmed at times would be nice to write about.  But writing about this feels like I'm Picking off scabs where I thought I had dealt with emotions, only to find that they still bleed. 

You just read about our trip to Sipacate.  One week later, as we were traveling to Guastatoya, we received a phone call that stopped our car on the side of the road.  I did not know what was being said, but I knew that it was serious.  Then I was told that Maria Jose had died.  She was about six years old. 

This was and is a lot to process. 

We live in a world where children die. 

The week before I left, I was asked if I was prepared for the loss of a child. 

That struck me. 

How could I ever be?

Over the last year I have personally encountered more loss of young people than there should ever be.  Some from far away, like the two children in Hogar de la Esperanza, who I had never met, but had been praying for daily.  I never got to hold them, but I got to cry for them, and praise God that they are home.  I lost a cousin at 17 years of age.  He was kind, polite, funny, and so smart.  I also knew him mostly from afar and only saw him only on occasion.  I also lost a friend only a few weeks younger than me.  I now treasure every little moment growing up in youth group or at churchwide events.  I was so blessed to get to spend some time with him and his family and friends before he met Jesus a few days before Easter.

After each of these deaths, I have done a lot of thinking.  I grieved the loss of Ezperanza and Thania, because although I had never met them, I loved them.   I was sad in part because I had not gotten to hold them or help walk them home.  I wish I had been more a part of my cousins life.  I regretted time not spent in correspondence, and not knowing more about this young man I always thought I'd have more time to know.  I grieved the loss of my friend because even though he got to meet Jesus first, and is now walking and in no more pain, he was not here with us anymore, and it hurt to see his family hurting and to know that he will not be in sunday school every week anymore.  For each these children, family and friends who have gone home before me, I have prayed, and cried.  I felt sadness, pain, anger, guilt, and emotions I can't fully define.  I have been flooded with emotions for a situation mankind was not intended to have to face.  We know death because we know sin.  And we live in a world where children die. 

We called the home and informed them that this precious child is not sick anymore, and has been cured of CP.  Members of our ministry loaded up the next morning to travel for her funeral.  Only a few could go because life continues and our children still need clean diapers.  They spent time with Maria Jose's loving family, and they cried with them.  What a blessing it must have been to get to know this family, and to love and hold Marie Jose.  I thank God that I got to meet her and see her families love for her. 

Later on our trip in Guastatoya, I got to meet a new family whom Daryl had told us about.  Dora is 50 years old, and has several birth defects that have left her unable to walk.  Her elderly mother helps care for her.  There was no food in their house on Daryl's initial visit, so we had brought a basket of food for them, and will continue to do so.  I was unable to meet Dora as she was not home when we stopped in.  I am told that she was out begging.  Part of the complication with Dora and her mother is that the stairs leading to their home are very narrow, uneven, and turn.  This is impossible to navigate in her wheelchair, so Dora crawls on dirty concrete stairs every day of her life.  Once to street level, Dora's elderly mother would push her around.  Her mother had recently broken her upper arm.  When I saw this arm I was greatly disturbed.  Her upper arm is at an angle close to 75 degrees where it should be straight.  This caused her great pain although the injury was "fixed" nearly two months ago.  While examining her arm, I saw that although it had enough blood flow, it was very swollen and even discolored.  She said it had been like this since she left the hospital.  Did I mention I was greatly disturbed?  What I mean is I am angry.  How could anyone with any medical experience at all look at her arm and say that it was ok?  Who set it?  Worse, who sent her home like that?  The damage is done and were she to go to the best specialist available, her arm would never look normal again.  This pain she is having now, and the immobility of her right arm impede her daily life.  And they sent her away. 

March 7, 2015




Additionally, the therapy tub has finally arrived, and with the concrete walkway already in place, it is now in place, and ready for use with the kids.  This will really help with the children with high tone CP.  Warm water therapy pools create a pressure around a person caused by the water around them.  This is called hydrostatic pressure.  This is useful because hydrostatic pressure is a slight constant pressure even across a persons body.  Even someone who can't move by themselves will have increased circulation and blood flow, and less pain.  The warmth also aids in relaxing contracted muscles so that our children will have increased range of motion in their tight arms and legs.  Since many of our kids have neurological impairments causing spascity, the warm temperature is especially helpful to reduce tremors and spacity. 

If your interested, a good site for basic benifits of warm water therapy pools is at http://www.brainline.org/content/2009/05/creative-therapy-why-aquatic-therapy_pageall.html.  This is an easy read with good references, but if your interested in more resources, let me know and I'll send you what I've found. 

Hi all, I can finish off on a happier note, this week our home was blessed with a visit from Mike Tobes, an Optometrist from the states who provided free eye exams for everyone in the home, both children and staff.  Glasses will be provided for those who need them at no cost.  Praise God! 

March 10, 2015

Today Christian had a hearing to determine if he is able to return home to his family.  Just a reminder, Christian is 5 years old, has autism, and is mostly blind and deaf.  He has been here over a year, and is very much a loved part of this family.  His family first approached Hogar de la Esperenza seeking help in caring for him.  They attended a training session to better understand how to handle Christian's sensory difficulties, and what to do to prevent, or care for his meltdowns.  So, are very sad to see him go because we are loosing a son and brother.  However, he is going home with a family who loves him.  Please pray for wisdom and patience for his family as we trust that God knows what He is doing.  Thank God for sending Christian into our lives. 

Once again, I would like to thank you for your prayers.  Please be praying specifically for the family of Maria Jose and their great loss.  Pray for Leslie and her continuing battle with hepatitis.  Pray also for the members of her family who are sick with chikungunya.  Pray for Dorcas that her sore will heal quickly through the diligent care of her family.  Pray for Dora and her mother, both for her mother's pain, and their situation. 

~Katie~

--after His heart--