November 20, 2015
Two nights ago, we adults were sitting around the table after the kids were in bed, sipping on coffee, and relaxing after another long day. Our two little babies, Olimpia and Alison, tend to stay up longer in the evenings with us because of their napping schedule. We are often entertained by the antics of Olimpia in the evenings, but that night I was spellbound by Alison. We lay her back on the table for a few minutes, and she met my eyes and just stared. Alison and Olympia both do this sometimes, and it is a little disconcerting because sometimes they have little to no expression, and seem to be looking deep into your soul. So Alison just stared at me for several minutes. 
I am not a mother, but I have learned a lot that first time moms learn. One of my most favorite times is feeding Alison her bottle because she just stares up at me with complete trust.
Alison has Downs Syndrome. And although laws are changing in the U.S., it is still legal in many areas to abort an unborn baby if they have down's syndrome. This is disgusting. Alison’s mom abandoned her when she learned that she had down's syndrome. I remember thinking when I firs, how could somebody abandon this precious baby. But I want to stop and thank every mom who has had the bravery to give birth to her child that she did not know what to do with, and give them up for adoption. Alison’s mom could be called a coward for abandoning a child, but she did not take Alison’s life. She allowed her that chance of a life. Because her mom left her, but did not kill her, my precious Alison can lay on our dining room table and stare into my heart. She can give me the best goodmorning smiles in the world, and splatter my face with wet love from her raspberries. I cherish this baby. This baby that is flawed and could legally have been killed before she drew her first breath in the U.S. Thank God she was not born in the United States. All children are precious whether or not those into whose households they are born realize their worth.
Praise God for broken children.
I have been taking classes online to continue my nursing education, and this semester has been interesting to say the least. I am only taking minimal classes because I don’t want to be taken too far out of the ministry. The first half of this semester, I took a class called Ohio policies and practices. This was a very frustrating class because it was entirely about how to affect laws dealing with health care in the state of Ohio. This was hard for me. I believe it is necessary to be involved politically to aid the causes of health care that health care professionals have a better insight on than politicians. But it was hard to read over and over about laws that apply to the health crisis in a nation whose children do not die of preventable illnesses. It was challenging to not grow bitter to the class which had me studying case studies about the health crisis in a community whose average income is massive while my neighbors may or may not have running water. This does have its place, and God has been teaching me to evaluate a crisis based on it’s surroundings. The second half of this semester, I have been taking a public health nursing class which has several large projects to evaluate a community and assess its health status from a public health standpoint. this has been fascinating. I obtained permission to evaluate the village where I live, San Antonio. This means I am actively studying my community, and the culture I now practice in for school credit. I have been evaluating San Antonio through a systematic evaluation of the community, and this is growing me in my knowledge of public health nursing as well as my specific work here in San Antonio, and similar villages where we travel.
This research has refocused me on the health and spiritual needs in my community. I truly love this town and this country. Woking here is such a blessing. God has shown me things I thought my eyes would never know. Thank you God for pushing me farther than I would have dared go.
November 25, 2015
Today we visited the families in Guastatoya again, and a number of our families are affected again by chikingunya. Again, chikingunya is a mosquito born illness resulting in body achas, joint pain, and a fever. Three of our families have chikingunya traveling through their family including Jorge, his mother, Dora and her mother, and Jan, his sister, and his mother. This illness is not fatal if the fever is properly treated, however many do not know how to properly care for a fever, and most do not have any medications to fight a fever, and many people do die.
Today we visited the families in Guastatoya again, and a number of our families are affected again by chikingunya. Again, chikingunya is a mosquito born illness resulting in body achas, joint pain, and a fever. Three of our families have chikingunya traveling through their family including Jorge, his mother, Dora and her mother, and Jan, his sister, and his mother. This illness is not fatal if the fever is properly treated, however many do not know how to properly care for a fever, and most do not have any medications to fight a fever, and many people do die.
December 7, 2015
Ok, So here’s what’s been eating at my heart for a while. I wrote tis back in September, but did not make it public at that time. --
Ok, So here’s what’s been eating at my heart for a while. I wrote tis back in September, but did not make it public at that time. --
"September 29, 2015
So, I won't be sharing this until I know for sure one way or another. We learned last week that there is a family interested in adopting the twins, Esther and Raquel. Remember, these two are playful and giggly 4 year olds with significant developmental delays. For example, only one is just recently potty trained, and neither speak clear words, or full sentences. In fact, Esther still gets very confused and thinks her sister is actually Esther. This potential adoption has caught us all off guard. We prayed for this, yet I don't feel very happy about it. You see, in Guatemala, very few people adopt. Fewer still adopt children with special needs. Since adoptions to the US are still closed, I had started to feel that our kids would likely be with us for the long hall. The thought of them not being ours anymore is staggering. I love their running and giggling, and the way they get so excited to see us returning after being gone all day. They always want to help with chores, even though it's a lot longer with their help. I know things are still up in the air with his adoption, but if all goes well, the may be leaving us as soon as three weeks. Tomorrow they will be observing the twins at McDonalds, but are not allowed to interact with them. After that, they will visit the home a few times, and then they will take our girls. We prayed for this, so why do I feel so sad. "
So, I won't be sharing this until I know for sure one way or another. We learned last week that there is a family interested in adopting the twins, Esther and Raquel. Remember, these two are playful and giggly 4 year olds with significant developmental delays. For example, only one is just recently potty trained, and neither speak clear words, or full sentences. In fact, Esther still gets very confused and thinks her sister is actually Esther. This potential adoption has caught us all off guard. We prayed for this, yet I don't feel very happy about it. You see, in Guatemala, very few people adopt. Fewer still adopt children with special needs. Since adoptions to the US are still closed, I had started to feel that our kids would likely be with us for the long hall. The thought of them not being ours anymore is staggering. I love their running and giggling, and the way they get so excited to see us returning after being gone all day. They always want to help with chores, even though it's a lot longer with their help. I know things are still up in the air with his adoption, but if all goes well, the may be leaving us as soon as three weeks. Tomorrow they will be observing the twins at McDonalds, but are not allowed to interact with them. After that, they will visit the home a few times, and then they will take our girls. We prayed for this, so why do I feel so sad. "
Today the couple that is adopting them came to meet them for the first time. They are a loving Christian couple who are very excited to welcome their new daughters into their home. Their entire extended family is eager to meet them because most of their children are older now. When I walked past the Esther and Raquel, and their new parents, my heart broke. They had bonded instantly, and were sharing hugs and giggles. The rest of the afternoon, they played together, and spent time getting to know each other. The joy was incredible to witness. We fought tears as we watched with perfect joy, and heartbreak as our girls fell in love with their new family.
I have hugged and kissed these girls. I have washed their hair, and painted their fingernails. I have read to them, cut up their food, and tucked them in at night. I have loved these girls with a true and complete love.
So I can’t Not celebrate with them as they are about to have a forever family who will devote 100% of their love and attention to them. But neither can I not feel desperately sad that they are leaving us. As their parents learn to turn on the night-light so they don’t get scared at night, or figure out how their baby curls escape around their faces after their hair is up, I will pray for them to grow together as a strong family.
God has blessed us so very much with the gift of these twins. And he sees fit to bless another family with their joy.
Therefore I praise God through the tears.
Thank you for your prayers for us, and for the people of Guatemala. Please continue to pray for those affected by chikingunya, and for the twins and their new parents. Please also pray for us as we are broken despite our joy.
