January 26, 2016
Our Angelita is walking with Jesus now. We were so blessed to carry her into his arms.
I have now lived in Guatemala just over a year, and in that time we have lost two children who were most precious to me.
When Micah came into our home, we knew he was dying, and we were to give him peace and comfort until he died. Angelita had been living in the home before I got here, and although her hydrocephalus was serious, we expected that she could live years, and we certainly did not expect her to die in the next year.
Coffins should not come this small.
This is the short story.
Angelita was 9 years old. She was the size of a toddler, so her name, meaning little angle, was quite fitting. She had a lot of brain damage, and she never talked, or made eye contact. When I first came, she would smile, and sometimes laugh, and never cry. She was perfect for snuggles, and I cherished her. In the last few months, Angelita struggled a lot. As the pressure on her brain increased, she lost the ability to drink from a bottle, and she hurt more. She smiled less and less, and cried more and more. She had some terrible nights, many of which we thought we would loose her. I loved holding her through the night. She had a shunt placed to try to relieve some of the pressure on her brain, and just a few days ago, she had surgery to place her perminant feeding tube. She had struggled so much that when she went for surgery, and her breathing was so poor, we found ourselves praying that if God took her home then, we would understand and rejoice for her peace. But he gave us a few more days with her. We held her more, and had a few peaceful nights with her.
Then yesterday, while most of the family was away, she had one of her bad days. She cried a lot, and even in my arms she did not calm down. In the evening, we put the other children to bed early, and I just held her because she was so miserable. We called the Doctor, and he arrived shortly after some of the family was able to return. He said she needed to return to the hospital. We were tired from not sleeping the night before, but we moved hurriedly to gather her things. She was struggling more than ever, and her breathing was very poor. I knew that we were loosing her, and I prayed thatt if God was going to take her, that he would take her from my arms and not alone in a hospital bed. I didn’t know what to do for her, so we started a breathing treatment, but I knew it would not make a difference. When we were ready, I carried her toward the door, and I felt her stiffening, and her breathing changed. As I passed through the kitchen, her breathing stopped. I dropped to the floor in the doorway, and Daryl and I did what we could, but there was nothing we could have done to keep her here any longer. She died in my arms and went home.
Praise God she is finally pain free. She is home.
I have loved that child most dearly. She was most precious to me. I held her and hugged her for long hours day and night. This family cherished her, and she was a treasured member of the home. God truly blessed us with her. I am so glad to have known her. I am happier still that she is not struggling anymore, and is safe in the arms of her father. She can run and talk and smile with her brother and sisters who beat her to heaven.
We are hurting a lot. Pray for us, and especially for Krishauna, Carissa, and Taryn who were not able to be here and receive the comfort of the family. Angelita is not the fourth child to be carried home to the father from this home. The second child I have lost in a year. I know what it is to pray for God to take a child. This is so very hard.
Thank God she is finally home.
Evening
A few of us just took Angelita to her hometown of Jutiapa to be buried near her family plot. We drove for hours, as were met by a man who knew how to get to Angelita’s grandmother’s house. He led us along another long road, and then onto an unpaved road which was essentially offroading. After a while, we turned onto a field, and then on farther still until we were climbing a steep dirt road surrounded by forest. It was there that the van could go no further. We climbed out, and began to carry the tiny coffin until the men of the town met us, and carried it further. They were walking very fast along the uneven dirt road, and there was hardly enough light to see each foot fall. We walked on and eventually, the men ahead of us started down a small footpath on the side of another steep hill. As we carefully climbed down in the dark, we could hear music coming from the house below. This was our final destination.
There must have been more than 100 people inside and outside that small one room, dirt floored home. When we entered the home, it was crammed with the children and the small band who stopped playing the music. People morned for my Angelita whom I had never known, but they shared love for her. Angelita’s grandmother was a tiny woman who had cared for her grandchildren after their parents abandoned them. She truly loved Angelita. Daryl and Manuel shared words and the gospel with them, and there were many tears. Afterward, we escused ourselves from the gathering that was likely to last hours more into the night, and we started our long drive home.
I miss holding my girl so much, but I have no doubt at all that she is better in the arms of the father than in my own. She is playing with Micah, Thania, and Esperanza, and I know one day I will see her smile again, without a hint of pain. God blessed us so much to be a part of her life.
Praise God for empty wheelchairs.
