Rural villages and Volcanos

February 6, 2015

Hi everyone!

I just returned from my first rural village ministry trip to the community of San Pablo.  This is the community where Brittney has moved to and opened her school just this week.  She has four students with varying special needs, and has a classroom ready for learning.  Here is the link to her blog: http://brittneyfulp.blogspot.com/.

This village is by a lake in the pocket of several mountains.  To reach it, we climbed as high as 8,500 feet above sea level.  The road which descended to San Pablo is quite steep and zigzags dozens of times lower and lower.  Each turn was about 180 degrees and sharp enough that only one vehicle could fit at a time.  The potholes in the areas that were paved were deep enough that my head nearly hit the window several times although we were only driving around 5-10 mph over them.  I can only imagine this during wet season.  This road did not have any outlets because no one could use land this steep and there weren't any homes here.  As we descended, back and forth a million times over, we could glimpse the lake and it's towns from far above.  This is one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen.  God knows His art!  

 

While there, I had a very refreshing visit with my dear friend Brittney, and a look at life in this small community.  People are close here, and there are not many outsiders.  Many of the people speak only the indigenous language of the mayan people rather than Spanish.  There are 17 families that Hope for Home visits here monthly.  Some receive food or formula, others receive medications, and still others need only a check up and reminder that others care about their precious children and love them with Christ's love.  I was struck by the significance of this emotional support with one family in particular.  This young man had been ostracised from his community because of a skin condition which we now think may be the result of an allergy.  His parents praised God that someone else could see the value of their son.  

As we prayed in our varying languages, I was struck by how blessed I am to witness this moment.  God has orchestrated a multitude of events in an order just so precise that I could come from the middle of a corn field to see His provision in a family tucked away in the corner of a remote community in a country far from home.  What an incredible God we serve!  

 

A few of the smiling faces in San Pablo.

Later we entered the home of a new family.  Their 14 year old son has some lasting weakness from an illness he had when He was 5.  We discovered that this illness was guillain barre, and his scars showed the severity had necessitated a feeding tube and  tracheostomy.   This disease attacks the nerves and starts with ascending paralysis which can occur as fast as a few hours and inhibit a person's ability to breath on their own.   Praise God that he lived because this is an uncommon disease that can potentially be deadly even in the best hospital in the states, and he had gone to the national hospital (which I've heard truly awful stories about, and he is lucky to not have died from infections there).  Why do I mention this?  Because I have studied this disease.  I have read about it, and answered NCLEX questions on it, and even briefly had experience with a patient in an ICU in the states with a similar autoimmune disease leading to paralysis who needed ventilator assistance.  But here all that knowledge did little good.  9 years ago, this child was sick.  Now he is healthy, and his needs have little to do with this disease he had.  

Knowing about a disease means nothing now.  He needs physical therapy to strengthen weak muscles.  He needs antibiotics to fight an acute throat infection.  And he needs encouragement that he is not broken or defective but precious to God.  I was humbled yet again by how great God is and how small I am.  This is exactly what I thought training in the nursing field would help me do, but training doesn't matter one little bit.  God uses who he calls to do things they were never trained for, and He laughs when we are mistaken to think anything we know will amount to more than a hill of beans.  Don't get me wrong.  God gives us experiences in life that will build us up one piece at a time.  He provides us with just the right tools to get the job done, but He never intends for us to do it in our own power.  He created us to depend on Him every step of the way.  

So I watched as this boy received a physical therapy and occupational therapy assessment, a plan was developed, and training was given for therapy.  He was medically assessed, and found to have an active throat infection and a regimen of medication was started.  He was referred to a neurologist  based on a skilled assessment of his seizure like activity.  His family's financial situation was noted and social work began to determine potential needs.  All of this, which would take hours, days, or  weeks in the US occurred smoothly in less than 30 minutes from the comfort of his home.  

God knows so much more than anything we think we know.  He brings the most unlikely people into the most ridiculous of situations and all to His glory.  He chooses the foolish things of this world to shame the wise.  What a beautiful country this is, and such a beautiful people.  I believe that God created people with special needs to shame those who think themselves wise.  And he uses them to show His glory.  Thank you God that my skills never have to be enough.  Thank you that what I know is not important to do your work.  Because what I know is not very much, and your knowledge is vast beyond measure.  Thank you that this is all your plan because the plans of men will fail while yours baffle our minds every time.  Thank you for teaching me the same lessons time and time again because I am ignorant and need you to hold my hand for each step.  I know that you must become greater and I must become less.  

February 7, 2015

Hi everyone, I know a lot of you have heard that Volcano Fuego erupted today.  We are about 8 miles from there, and so are safe from any lava flow, although the ash in the air is a concern.  The ash has landed as far as 38 miles from the volcano.  On our roof, it felt like it was snowing as the tiny particles dusted a person in seconds.  Footprints traced my steps as I walked, and you could not see the nearest mountains.  The sky resembled the erie color preceding a strong thunderstorm and the sun was hidden.  

We quickly closed all the doors and windows, and wore masks whenever outside.  Next the vehicles were loaded with wheelchairs and car seats.  This is a time consuming process with so many to load.  Cloths, diapers, formula, and water were prepared in case we decided to evacuate.  By this time, the cloud had lifted quite a bit, though the wind continued to stir up ash.  We decided that with the ash in the air dissipating, we would stay in the home and continue watching.  Many of the children have respiratory problems, and transporting them through this is not advisable unless necessary.  We administered breathing treatments frequently to those at risk, and maintained a sealed home.  

At this point, we intend to remain indoors for a few days and spray the outside with water a few times once all the ash settles.  We are all safe, and God has blessed us with such a large home that can be effectively sealed from the outside.  Praise God for fresh fruit and vegetables delivered just this morning.  Praise God that our two bedrooms detached from the rest of the indoors are currently uninhabited so no one has to venture outside.  Praise God that at this point we do not have to evacuate all 22 of us.  Praise God for continued electricity and clean drinking water, and showers to wash off the ash.  Praise God for His protection and provision.  

February 8, 2015

During the night the wind has decreased so that for most of the day our home was clear, although the cloud was visible and the home remained sealed.  The outside was wet down since it is the dry season and rain is unlikely to wash the ash away, or stop it from blowing.  This evening there was a fresh coat of ash however, but as it was dark we could not tell how much.  We are continuing breathing treatments for the children, and we are safe.  

February 10, 2015

It feels good to be through all that volcano nonsense!  As of today I have been in Guatemala one month.  Time seems to have flown by.  I have been so blessed by what God has shown me.  I have a notebook full of lessons learned and relearned.  One thing that has hit me recently is how crazy it is that God has brought me to this beautiful land and shown me so many of His precious children.  

"What is man that you are mindful of him?  The son of man that you care for him?"  Psalms 8:4

"He felt great pity for the crowds that came because their problems were too great and they did not know where to go for help.  They were like sheep without a shepherd.  He said to His disciples 'The harvest is so great, but the workers are so very few.  So pray to the Lord of the harvest; ask Him to send out more workers for His fields."    Matthew 9:36-38

The more I see the more desperately I see the need for Christ both in the country I see before me now, and the one I came from.  Both are bankrupt.  One has such immense physical need that my heart hurts by what my eyes see.  In Las Palmas children ran barefoot across cement and dirt floors.  Families struggle with illnesses which would not occur if basic water and sanitation needs were met.  

In the other country, the bankruptcy is spiritual.  In Greenville Ohio, The need is harder to see.  It disguises itself by subtly hiding behind problems seen as normal struggles.  Here my heart hurts not so hard for the broken situation as for the reason behind it, a life long brokenness that is not even recognised.  

It is easy to see a lack of food.  The evidence is as plain as malnutrition.  They symptoms are well understood and defined with medical parameters.  It is not so easy to notice the spiritual bankruptcy which is so common in every country on this planet, but perhaps more so in rich countries.  

It starts as a feeling of sufficiency.  An ability to meet ones own needs, therefore God is only necessary when things go wrong, and cannot be fixed by oneself.  This leads to sporadic time with God, because of a false impression that we can do anything without Him.  This leads to pride in our own accomplishments.  It leads to a mistaken sense of ownership to abilities or possessions which aren't really ours, and a feeling of entitlement to a certain lifestyle.  (I may rant a little on this, but if you claim to be poor, yet find a few hundred dollars to replace a cracked i phone, you may misunderstand what poverty actually looks like).  

And oh do we get angry if our expectations are not met.  

Since we meet our own needs, and we deserve what we have, we grow to think that our opinion matters more than other's.  We no longer communicate with our families.  We are all too willing to rid ourselves of anything that reminds us that we are not the ultimate authority in our own lives.  

Because we have, we no longer need.  

This  manifests as forgotten time with God, fights on the way to church,  and wedges driven between spouses, parents and children.  

Yes, we are as spiritually destitute in our wealth.  

So I repeat: "He felt great pity for the crowds that came because their problems were too great and they did not know where to go for help.  They were like sheep without a shepherd.  He said to His disciples 'The harvest is so great, but the workers are so very few.  So pray to the Lord of the harvest; ask Him to send out more workers for His fields."    Matthew 9:36-38

Both where I came from and where I am now I see more and more situations where the simple description of the problem is "He really needs Jesus".  

For me personally, I am very weak.  I think it is far easier to live for God when I can see my need clearly.  When all my needs are met readily, I am in danger of thinking I have a chance on my own.  Praise God for showing me daily just how fragile we are.  Thank you God for showing me my weakness that I can see your strenght.  

He must become greater, I must become less.  

                 

   

Thanks for your continued prayer!

~Katie~

--after His heart--

Finally Here

   January 10, 2015

Hello friends,

I'm on my way!

I am writting this while sitting in an airport in Atlanta, where I am finally on my way to Guatemala.  As you know, I have been trying to get to Guatemala for nearly a year and a half now, so this moment has been long awaited.  I am eager to begin working with the team, and meeting the children.  I want to tahnk you for your help because we are a team.  I have been so very blessed that God has placed this calling on me, and given me all the right open doors to come.  Praise God who sees the deepest desires of our hearts and answers our cries.  Our God is faithful.  

If you have ever driven any distance, then you know what a sight it is to watch the miles roll past your window.  I love Ohio because the endless fields allow for a view miles and miles off, sprinkled with trees and crisp straight rows of corn.  This morning I had the privilidge of watching that countryside fade into the distance from far above.  I do not think that beauty could ever become mundane.  A patchwork quilt of varying shades of white faded into the dawn.  God makes some pretty crazy art.  

Well, I just wanted to share that thought, and I am sure I will be sharing many more in the days to come.  

Blessings from the air!

January 15, 2015

Good morning,

I am feeling both very happy, and very drained.  I think it is a combination of a busy week and visiting HP.  

Oh what a hard place that is to visit.   I believe that HP is the one place which God used the most to show me how much He wants me here.  It breaks my heart standing there, holding little Guatelupe, whose body is so contorted and retracted that she will never sit normally, and who smells of urine because she was so wet that it had soaked through her diaper, and pants, and through my own pants while I held her in my lap (blessed by holy water as Daryl would put it).  This child cannot speak, and she cannot walk or even sit on her own.  She spends most of her life in a cage of metal baren metal bars that some might call a crib.  She may have a family that visits every once in a while, or she may never have known what a family is.  I imagine she has quite the heart wrenching story too.  But whatever her past, today she lives alone in a metal cage lined up tightly in a room with 20 others more bent and broken than she is.  Her future is not bright.  It is years of lying alone in this cage in a wet diaper being fed from a bottle though she looks to be a teenager (it is so hard to know ages when malnutrition has left a mark stunting growth from an early age).  

But she is precious.  She is a beautiful child of God.  In my lap she smiles, and is full of contagious laughter.  Her belly deep laughs bring life to the whole place.  She laughs so hard and loud that I am sure the whole ward must break into laughter as well.  I certainly can't help it!  Guatelupe knows the joy of the Father, even in this hopeless place.  

This is why God brought me here, to meet Guatelupe.  To know her.  To love her.  To learn joy from her.  God loves her desperately.  His heart breaks for her, even more than mine.  He brought me here to hear her laugh.  

I would love to show you a picture of her, but we are not allowed to take picture in here.  But I will show you a picture of another little girl.  Her name is Alejandra.  She is 12 years old.  She cannot talk, and she cannot walk.  She is very stiff and must wear a bib all the time because to catch her drool.  When she eats she drops a lot and makes a mess.  She wears a diaper, and is wheelchair bound.  

Here's the difference.  

Alejandra lives in a home based on sharing Christ's love, and not an overly crowded institution.  She has a motorized wheelchair which gives her mobility and freedom to roam the house.  She She is a messy eater, because she has learned to feed herself and encouraged to do so.  She wears a diaper, but it is clean and dry because she is helped to use a real bathroom through patient and loving arms.  Alejandra is highly intelligent with bright eye.  She looks forward to school with a passion, and it brings out a smile.  And oh what a smile!  She could melt the coldest heart with her smile.  Alejandra lives in a home with a family.  She gets real meals, brushed teeth, decorated hair, and many kisses.  Each day, while she is not exploring in her motorized wheelchair, she is held, and played with.  She loves her purse and play tea parties.  She receives physical therapy daily which eases stiff limbs.  Alejandra is a blessing from God and I love her.  Praise God for the blessings he gives us, and these incredible children.  

After seeing this difference, I cannot comprehend how so very many children are still living in places like HP.  God has always had a special place in His heart for children and orphans.  In the last week before leaving for Guatemala, a and a number of people ask me why I didn't try to help closer to home before coming all the way to Guatemala. Looking into Guatelupe's eyes, how could I not come?  So I think to them I would answer, you help closer to home.  You make the difference where you see the need here.  Allow those whose hearts have been inexplicably drawn to places farther serve there.  

    January 19, 2015

So, after one week, I have a small idea just how busy life here is.  I have been helping in Hogar de la Esperanza, and learning about the children here.  They are beyond precious.  In the coming weeks I will be reviewing the medical side of the home, and beginning work with the four wheel drive teams to the villages.  As for right now, there is a brand new baby arriving at the home today.  We were already full, but after hearing about a severely malnourished 10 month old girl weighing 8lbs, we are about to become even busier.  

   January 22, 2015

Rosalinda is the newsest member of the family.  She is 10bls 11 oz, and very long.  I would attach a picture, however I am entirly inept with technology!  She has large and beautiful eyes and a tiny precious face.  She also has a fantastic set of lungs that she uses to cry and scream most of the day.  Please pray that God would help her have some peace, and the rest of us rest easy.  

May God's love be with you!

~Katie~

--after His heart--

Almost time

Just a Quick Update

Hi everyone, this is a short one just to say It's almost time!  After year and a half of waiting, I will be leaving for Guatemala in just under a month.  I am very excited to finally get there, and get my feet wet, and it sounds like I'll be hard at work in the busy and short handed group home.

Right now Hogar de la Esperenza has 12 children and is full to the brim.  The rural village ministry is now traveling to 25 villages and visiting 78 families.  Life looks very busy, and I am eager to jump in and become familiar with the flow.  

Thank you all for your prayers, 
~Katie~

--after His heart--

What do we look like?

 “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians.  Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” --Gandhi

I’m afraid that’s all too true even more today.  In fact, the world has come to see us for everything we should not look like.  In a poll by Barna researchers, Americans view Christians as judgmental, hypocritical, out of touch with reality, insensitive to others, and not accepting of other’s faiths.  Christ countered each of these by forgiving, being genuine, truthful and aware, loving and inviting to members of all faiths.  

God open our eyes to understand the revulsion of this.

The study shows that “American’s involvement in some type of sexual behavior, including looking at on-line pornography, viewing sexually explicit magazines or movies, or having an intimate sexual encounter outside of marriage.  In all, 30% or born again Christians admitted to at least one of these activities in the last 30 days, compaired with 35% of other Americans.  In statistical and practical terms, this means that the two groups are no different from each other” (The Whole in our Gospel).  

No different from eachother?!?!?  

How can this possibly be? 

We look nothing like our Jesus!  

We can try to argue it, but the perception of the world were trying to reach screams back at us. 

I dare you, Google image search 'christian' and see the impact we've really made.  

I may be stretching, I have no biblical theology foundations, but I think this is largely in part of our discipline.  I once confessed to a ladies group that I had been struggling and had not had my devotion time in four days.  One by one the ladies present with me shared that they also had either neglected their time with God several times that week, or they never really had routine quiet time.  

Discipline.  

We were sharing all the struggles we had been having, not understanding why it was so hard.  It was because without that time, we were doing it alone. 

1 Peter 4 talks about suffering.  In a discussion this weekend, this suffering was compared closely to discipline.  I had never thought about this before.  This is not to say that they are the same, but comparable (again, no bible scholar here, very flawed thinker making observations).  Vs 13 says: “Instead be very glad—because these trials will make you partners with Christ in his suffering and afterward you will have the wonderful joy of sharing in His glory when it is displayed to all the world”. 

 

Without fellowship with other believers, we will grow dull. 

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.– Proverbs 27:17

Without prayer, we will grow sick and weak. 

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.  James 6:5

Without mediating on his word, we will become apathetic and ignorant. 

“I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you”. – Psalm 119:11

“My soul is consumed with longing for your laws at all times. 21You rebuke the arrogant, who are accursed, those who stray from your commands.” Psalm 119:20-21

  

Instead of being defined by what I am against, I want to be known by what I am for. 

We must learn discipline.  "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."  Hebrews 12:11

~Katie~

After His heart

Earning

It’s a funny thing, becoming a “missionary”.  It’s not what I expected. 

I’m not sure why I thought that by knowing this calling, I would suddenly be free from all my indecision.  That by knowing where he is leading, I will not wonder every step of the way how it will happen.  Or perhaps I thought that in knowing the call, all my fears would go away because those whose faith is the most secure have no more fears.  But I fear messing up just as much now as I did before.  The uncertainty of ‘how’ remains on my mind. 

I did not anticipate this constant second guessing of my actions.  As though every step must go in a direct unwavering line straight to where I ought to go with no delays.  Like every choice I make is being judged, like I am constantly trying to prove to myself and others that I am worthy of this calling. 

But this is wrong. 

I acquire nothing through merit. 

I am earning nothing. 

Every choice is not weighed and deemed successful or selfless enough, and by believing that, I am holding myself capable of living selfless enough to earn God’s approval.  And I suppose also to gain the approval of people. 

Galatians 1:10 says ”Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” 

Though this is part of a larger message, this phrase has always stuck with me.  It is not possible to be fully a servant of God while I am still trying to prove myself to people, or to myself.  I am trying to do both by trying to make every action altruistic. 

This is dangerous because it places my “success” and worthiness on my own actions which fail time and time again to meet the standards I was never meant to meet on my own.  I set myself up for failure again and again. 

Who wouldn’t burn out? 

Then I grow distant again. 

Guilty again. 

Ashamed again. 

Defeated again. 

This is not the life to which we have been called. 

So I need to stop trusting myself and trying to “prove” myself because He has already proven Himself.  By struggling to succeed in this whole missionary thing, I am yet again humbled ad I see that my perceived failure to succeed is itself a failure because I thought it was my struggle and my strength with which I was failing.  

My strength was never enough.  

But “the issue is not my strength, but His, which is limitless”. 

Well, that’s it from this very human daughter. If you would like more specific updates, send me an e-mail at katie@hopeforhome.org, or find me on facebook.  I would love to share with you online or in person anything and everything!

~Katie~

--after His heart--

How are you?

"How are you?"

These three simple words have been washed over and transformed into a standard empty greeting.  Their meaning changed from an honest inquiry into a person’s well being, and into a vague and nonspecific set of words to be carelessly flung at any passerby.  A simple acknowledgement, and then move on.  

        Where did the depth go?  

                Where is the caring; the love? 

I have a friend of many years who up and messaged me those three underrated words: “how are you?”.  This message originated from a flight below me.  I retrieved my phone and began the standard reply of “fine, and you?” before something stopped me.  These words were nearly hidden in the meaning that often is for the meaning that was intended. 

This was not an empty question.  It’s response deserved an equally full answer. 

This friend of mine could simply have walked up the stairs and asked in person.  In fact, we had conversed among a group of friends not an hour earlier.  So why ask?  Or rather, what was it he was asking?  This was not an opinion of the day, a passing thought amongst a firestorm of passing emotions. 

No. 

This question written was a question to my spiritual state of being in a format allowing for my thoughtful contemplation and complete and honest answer.  This was a question to the health of my walk with God. 

A question of accountability. 

I was struck by this. 

My answer to those three words was perhaps the first honest recount of my spiritual life that I had given in some time. 

                                It was raw. 

Again, I was struck by the simplicity of the words ‘how are you’, and the complexity of their answer are. 

        This is accountability. 

                            The real. 

                                        The raw. 

Answers that you can’t always speak out loud. 

After a few years of our back and forth exchange of the words ‘how are you’, and their variations, we have maintained an accountability that I can say has pushed me a lot.  To my knowledge, we have only spoken in person to this degree a few times.  Partly due to busyness, and the privacy indicated by our very personal struggles, and partly because to talk like this face to face removes some of the evaluation and reflection we are allowed by writing, evaluating, and rewriting. 

I wonder what it is about us that makes us want to bottle up any sign that we are actually human and put on a facade of these others around us.  Why pretend we are different from anyone else in our own weakness? 

As Christians we have read that in our weakness Christ’s strength is made perfect.  

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me”.  2 Corinthians 12:9

So why would we try to hinder perfection?  

So what would you say if someone asked you how are you?  No really, how are you?