Gifts on Loan

December 16, 2016 Today Giovanni, Raquel and Esther all came to visit with their families. The twins have been living with their new family for a year now, and Gio for 6 months. This is the first time I had seen Gio, and my second seeing the girls since they were adopted. It was incredible to see them again. At first Gio was a little overwhelmed, but by the time Esther and Raquelle arrived, all three were soon running around squealing like the old days! It was amazing to see just how much they had all grown. Gio is now 4, and the twins 5. Gio is speaking now more than before, and using a lot more English. Esther and Raquel speak in articulated sentences now. All three have grown so much physically, and developmentally. Praise God for such incredible families who now love our children. Both are amazing families who truly love these children. Praise God for forever families! Now it seems natural to watch them run to their mothers’ with arms outstretched, confident in the comfort and support they will find there.

December 19, 2016 And just like that your life can change! God calls us to faith. A faith that can change the entire landscape of our lives instantly, and trust that it is in his hands.

Today the call was for a three month old girl with microcephaly. We said yes. This is scarey because she may be very fragile, and we are already struggling with a very fragile little Edy. We probably won’t know any detail about her, not even her name, until she arrives. Oh, and did I mention she arrives today?!?

December 23, 2016

Her name is Margareth, and she surely did give us a scare. We were told she had microcephaly. She does not. She does have a history of seizures, and as we learned later, a significant heart defect that will require open heart surgery, and she arrived with pneumonia. Margareth came from a national hospital in Guatemala city. The national hospital system is… not good. She should never have been discharged.

When she arrived, we checked her from head to toe, and knew that something was very wrong. She lacked a lot of reflexes normal for babies. Her arms and legs hung limp when we moved her for her shower. She had a soft cough that we were told was normal for her. She was very pale, and all but unresponsive. Also, she did not cry. We thought she must have some significant brain damage, or neurological issues. But we did not know anything about her except what the courts had told us, which we couldn’t trust because she clearly does not have microcephaly, and clearly did have some other issues. We lacked any form of baseline for how she should look and act. That is why we didn’t realize that as frail as she was, it was due to an acute sickness, and not chronic like in a neurological illness. Wanda stayed with her the first night, and I left early for distributions and family visits in Guastatoya. At 4:45 when I left, she was sleeping, but not well.

While we were beginning our visits with the families in Guastatoya, we got a call that Margareth had stopped breathing, and Daryl had done CPR for over 5 minutes to get her back. The bomberos, or ambulance drivers, had not answered when they called, so they drover her into a private hospital in Antigua where we take our kids because they are private and worlds better than any national hospital. Here they discovered her pneumonia, and here I sit with her as she received IV antibiotics. The national hospital in Guatemala city had discharged a gravely ill baby girl who stopped breathing less than a day after she left. Less than 12 hours after she was in our home, she is now back in the hospital. The children in our home never got to meet her since she was there so briefly overnight.

Hospitals here are a bit different. Our three month old is in an sized adult room, and one of us stays with her all through the day and night. She sure is tiny sleeping in that giant bed. And the Spanish… that’s a bit tough for me at least. I can communicate now, but sometimes I bumble over my words and take a long time to say what I want to be said.

Tomorrow is Christmas eve, so we hope and pray she can leave with us tomorrow, after 4 days in the hospital. We have two medical professionals living in the home who know how to care for critically ill children. We have experienced family members who have cared for very fragile children. We have oxygen for the ride, and at the home. We have medical equipment; a suction machine, oxygen and supplies, a nebulizer for aerosol medications, IV equipment, syringes, formula, medications, and so on. Our doctor lives two blocks away, and is on-call. With all this in mind, the doctor said that if all goes well, she may be discharged tomorrow, but continuing her IV antibiotic regimens, and after training us how to administer it, which will go well because have administered many IV medications, and Daryl has experience and previous training with IV fluids as well. Our staff is off over Christmas, and we are a little short handed with one of us at the hospital at all times. Further, we truly desire a Christmas together as a family, so we pray she is strong enough to come home. She is still very sick however.

December 24, 2016 Maggy came home from the hospital today. And later she went home to Jesus as well. Next to her bed we set up our oxygen generator, suction machine, and equipment for her IV medications. Truly, we had everything set up that was on hand in her hospital room, and a few extra things.

Being Christmas Eve, we had family activities set up, and after the kids went down we would watch the nativity story together to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Wanda sat down to feed her her bottle. But as the movie started, Edy stopped breathing. After a long episode, he began breathing again on his own. But at that point we learned that in the excitement, Maggy also had stopped breathing. We carried her to her bed in the corner where all our equipment was, and Daryl began giving her rescue breaths. Soon later, we had to begin CPR. We worked so hard. But after a little over half an hour, we lost her. She was so very weak.

Our doctor, who had not yet had a chance to meet her, shared with us that there really was not anything we could have done. He learned from her files that she had 7 serious life threatening illnesses, and would never have been strong enough for the heart surgery she needed. In some ways, knowing this helped, and at least she was not suffering anymore. But then floods in the anger. The national hospital had discharged her knowing this. Which means they were either extremely negligent, or intentionally sent her away so they would not have to deal with it over Christmas. In either case, it is hard not to be livid.

But we know that this was truly God’s design because if they had not discharged her, she would have died alone in the hospital instead of surrounded by her family who loved her.

We are all so raw right now.

December 25, 2016 Today we started our Christmas day by burying a tiny baby.

I can’t quite put words to it.

We fought so hard to keep her. But God wanted to give her the greatest joy in spending Christmas with him.

So we are mourning the loss of a baby, while celebrating the birth of another baby. And it is through the death of this baby Jesus that we have hope for the future life of our baby Maggy. And therein lies our comfort.

Despite our hurting hearts we wanted to celebrate the life of Christ through Christmas celebrations. There have been lots of tears and lots of laughs today.

December 28, 2016 The day we accepted baby maggy into our home, we got a call about another girl. This one was three years old, and all we were told was that she could not move her hands or feet, and could not talk. We had to say no because we were full before we accepted baby Maggy. They begged us to take her, and said that they had heard that our home was the best home for girls like her. After we said no, they asked us to please call them if anything changed. Well, something has changed. We were not going to accept a 13th child, but God opened our hearts to Maggy. We had just figured out how to adjust everything to accept one more little girl, and now there is one waiting.

This is hard because we are very much still mourning a tiny little baby. Daryl asked for more information. Her name is Genisis, and from her story she sounds like she could use a loving home for her emotional needs, as well as a specialized home for her significant physical needs. We have decided to move forward and accept her into the home.

Please keep us in your prayers as we prepare to receive another little girl, and as we continue to work through the torment of emotions left with us after Maggys death.

Praise God that there is a place for Genisis. We serve a God who has a place in His heart for all these precious children.

January 5, 2017

Well, the new year sure started out rocky. We welcomed the new year with behavioral issues in a number of the kids, diarrhea, runny noses, and respiratory infections for all, and a grand mal seizure from Yenny. Most distressingly, Edy, who had been struggling with a respiratory infection, and on oxygen while receiving antibiotic injections, was declining and we decided to take him to the hospital. We took turns with him, and the majority of the time he was simply miserable and could not be consoled. Praise God, he came home again yesterday, and is happy and relaxed. Through our short time with Maggy, and the reminder that our days with Edy are limited, I have been reminded that each of our children are gifts to us on loan. They are really never ours, only a brief gift on loan to love on and hold until God takes them back. So we cherish each day they are lent to us, and praise God for these precious gifts.

Today we are receiving two new interns, Alex, and Savana. They will be helping in the home through May, which will help cover my absence while I am away.

This week we are also receiving the Gross family, who are moving here to open our second group home. And on Sunday, a team from my home church is coming. With them will come my sister, so suffice it to day I am eager for their arrival. Sadly however, I will be leaving for the states when they leave in less than 2 weeks.

As I mentioned previously, I will be fulfilling my commitment to finish my BSN. While I am there however, I have made arrangements to follow a wound care specialist in a health center nearby. I will also have some needed time with my family. This is quite challenging however because I will be away from the kids, and the ministry for a few months. It’s hard to think of the kids growing and developing while I am gond. It’s harder still to understand that some of the kids may not be here when I come back. I surely love these kids, and this family I now have. I thank God for giving me such a family while I am here.

Thank you so much for your prayer and support. I will continue to send updates while stateside, however they may be fewer and shorter.

~Katie~ --after His heart--